Absalom was the most attractive of David’s sons, apparently known for his luxurious head of hair (that would be the death of him). Early on, he had been involved in a very controversial time in the royal household. His elder brother by another mother, Amnon, was dead at his hand. This is the result of the unique “soap opera” qualities of the household of King David. He was the father of many children by many wives. It seems there was competition between the sons of different mothers but great closeness between the siblings of the same mother.
In this case, Amnon had a deep crush on Absalom’s full sister Tamar. It was so deep that he eventually lured her in to his bedroom and raped her. Then, in the way of men, he blamed her for his behavior and drove her out. Again, in the way of men, she was ‘ruined’. Her worth was so completely defined by men that she, knowing she was now ‘damaged’ goods, begged her rapist to “do right by her” and marry her. And he refused. He drove her own. She found refuge in the house of her brother Absalom. In the course of time, Absalom took revenge for the virtue of his sister and killed his brother.
Now we return to the attractiveness of the boy, and that he was one of the eldest sons of King David. As we have said before, being the oldest was not the defining virtue of being the king’s heir, but it carried much weight. Amnon seemed to be in that role, which now fell to Absalom-except for fact he’d killed his brother. It put David in a quandary. As the king, he should punish his kin-slaying son, but he loved Absalom. So he did not punish him, but he ignored him, to appease a public view of things. Thus, Absalom had no idea where he stood with his father. Was there a death penalty hanging over his head? Was he forgiven?
Absalom was exiled for awhile but then brought back to the capital, but still with this mixed message. Was all forgiven? What was going on? What is a King’s son supposed to do? After all, there were nineteen of them, well, eighteen with Amnon’s death. What is a shamed son of the king supposed to do?
It looks like he sought to find his way back into favor by practicing kingship. He set himself up outside the palace to hear cases that were being brought to the capital to be heard by the king. My guess is that this appealed to King David. It was his son showing initiative, setting the stage where the public face of their relationship, the one where Absalom was a kin-slayer, an heir-slayer, could be covered over.
He trusted Absalom, likely had pride in his son who was digging into the work of kingship to make the nation a better place, to learn the ways of leadership, to aid his father-maybe to win his approval and forgiveness.
And Absalom used the principles of government, of leadership, of kingship, to put himself into a position of authority. And then he betrayed his father. Absalom used his charisma, his charm, his good looks-all the things that David so loved in the boy-on the people. He gained enough popular support to turn on his father. Forced him to flee Jerusalem with his loyal retainers and run for his life. Absalom started a civil war.
From the machinations of the soap opera that was David’s household that led to Amnon’s unpunished rape of his sister, to the vengeance wrought by Absalom, to the divided loyalties that David had, sending Absalom a message that his father wanted him close by to keep an eye on him because his dad never sought him out to, I don't know, tell his son he loved him? This led to the rise in power in which Absalom overthrew his father-at least for a time, that is where we come to Psalm 42 (according to the tradition of when it was written).
David is alone and afraid, laughed at and on the run, abandoned by his people and, apparently, by God. And from it, Psalm 42 and 43? This is a second tale of circumstances that I have offered to set the stage for Psalm 42. In the biblical record, the story of Bathsheba precedes that of Amnon and Absalom, so regret piling on regret is feeding what we have in our Psalm this week.
This is the heart of anguish and, as things were yet unresolved, of hope unfulfilled. What David has given us is one of the most heartfelt passages for our own most tragic and alone moments. “Put your hope in God”, says David at the conclusion, “For I will yet praise Him…” He is not in a position to praise God in the moment, but his belief is that it will come again. But the final power of our God is more than this. We can be so broken, so hurt, so anguished, that we may not even be able to dare to hope anymore. But when we fail, that is when God is more powerful for us. Even if we do not believe, the truth is as David says, “My Savior and My God.”
Peace,
Pastor Peter
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