Seeking Not To Be Taken Advantage Of

Games Criminals Play, by Bud Allen and Diana Bosta, Rae John, Sacramento, CA, 34th Printing, 2013.  228 pages.  The subtitle is "How You Can Profit By Knowing Them".


A few times in my ministry, I have been taken advantage of.  There are people who present themselves as being in need, when they are not.  It doesn't happen all that often, but it happens enough that it pushes my comfort to a point where I feel like I have to do something.  Looking around for resources, I came upon this book.


What I want is a profile of what to look for in someone who might be playing me.  Does this seem rather cynical for a pastor?  In all honesty, I was looking for some wisdom because I am beginning to get a bit cynical to people in need that I don't have a familiar friendship with.  And with my latest work reaching more into the community in the aftermath of Hurricane Sandy, I can't afford to be cynical.  I need to be smarter.


Well, "Games Criminals Play" isn't exactly what I was looking for.  It focuses on the games that inmates in prisons play in an attempt to compromise corrections personnel for their own gain, whether for advantage, to alleviate boredom, to advance criminal purposes, whatever.  In some ways, I am finding this book to be more helpful then one that was more designed for 'con games' by people seeking charitable giving.


The kind of corrections person, someone who truly cares and wants to change the lives of people, is a prime target for being 'soft' or malleable. I was malleable when I was taken for a ride. 


Some good concepts to take away, for example, the idea of the familiar and the unfamiliar friend.  A pastor wants to be a friend to someone in need.  But recognize that this friendship is unfamiliar and keep up a certain guard against overfamiliarity, and perhaps being taken advantage of.  It takes time for someone to become a familiar friend. 


Simply to have confirmation of people who are out for their own purposes, to manipulate, not for help, to know that is normal behavior, that other people far more trained than I fall for their games, makes me less harsh on myself for what has happened. 


More lessons on what to look for are coming in the next section of the book.  I look forward to reading that.